If I were god segment #2

I want to yell.

I want to yell and have no one freak out because I am yelling because it is fun or I am having fun or a bad fucking time and I would like people to know "Oh he's having a bad fucking time."

Then either leave me alone or figure out in the world what they can fix so that God isn't just yelling the whole time.

Fun isn't fun if fun isn't being had. It's just yelling while others have fun.

I would like to meet a person before becoming a "person."

SOMEONE WHO–will say, oh it's god and god is a person like I am a person but also he is god, so obviously he has been through the ringer and has had to experience many levels of what is considered heaven or hell or even a heaven or hell in an understanding unfathomed to a human.

If god was in a realm in the beginning where everything was just cake for instance but that cake was called manna and the people were just manna and more was added for them to become more, then the perfection would be the start and say, okay, god eats angels so he is bad; but no. Someone would understand that there is testing and furtherance on the idea that some places there is idea's where rape or child fuck or incest was not bad, for instance royalty in this world used to incest and it was not bad for a while and there was a time we only lived to 24 and married at 14 in many areas of the world.

SO–god comes back, and let's say no messiah... ARE YOU calling god a pedophile or beastophile for being in the bodies that suffered such instances of unfortunacies which race human ran.

Are you calling god racist for being in the body of the master and the slave?

HAVE i meet someone before an instance of showing myself to the world wether to be love or hated I would like to find a sum of people who are women specifically so that they can back me up because I would back them up.

You were forced to dog?

child forced?

celebritic forced to child type?

you were forced to incest?

YOU can't even explain it because the lines are so blurred and grey that you can just be depressed about it and want to kill yourself because no one believes your story?

I'm backing you.

I know the spiritual influence and no I do not defend pedophile or anyone of the sort of things that cause error as I am too a victim of these blurry lines and faces.

(TIME TO READ THE WEBSITES CONDITIONAL)

I want someone to say, hey; wether you are god or not; I trust you.

You may have a hard time trusting but, I can trust you.

I can trust you because you are honest regardless of how you move or carry yourself.

Sometimes and sometimes even other times.

Love me for who I am and not because of what I become.

BASICALLY, if I were god I would want to eb sent some women to defend me as I approach my destiny ultimately to say, "I actually know this guy."

No one has ever defended me properly in my life and It would be nice if something other than my own-self, God and what is sent to TRY to help.

In court they don't actually set you up with lawyers that will keep you out of jail or even fight for your story, they don't want to hear it. They want to get the day over with. You're just another job to them.

Is there someone who would trust god with everything of healing and suffering and needing to be evil and good and rape and kill to essentially defeat myself.

If forever troubled then would you still trust me to take care of our child, would you trust me not to kill you, would you trust me not to fuck your sister? Would you trust me in regard often to nought thought?

OUT OF EVERYTHING that has happened or could happen or could've happened or falsely or paradox or if alternate reality or if none of that exist and it's just one reality...

and god had to walk... are you trusting it?

I AM.

I can comprehend this.

Can you say "I do?"

Have me meet the persons in case of understanding the primordials inside is what I speak, not the human. They hear me in grain stretch and blur, streaks of light and moments of notice to unnoticed meaning like a fast edit where you only have a second to see everything on the screen.

Sort've like bumblebee in transformers.

or the edit you can find in SMILE X on the excruciare page called vengeance (Go to the Flourish tab)

I want to talk to someone smart. Someone of the variety not "I have God in my life."

but instead, I understand the complexities and to ANYTHING you say, I'm going to hear you out, not judge you but what I will do is sit down and talk with you because everyone's walk is different.

Understand and listen to my story for 5 hours, spend sometimes from the useless shit you normally do and listen to me try to explain what god is to me.

I expect to be understood even if I am talking to the friendship phiotes in your mind, or idea of hades or beauty even a king or discord wanting to reach a value in harmony.

I do not want to talk to the human. It is impossible.

My only hope is to talk to what I recognize as god to shine through in an INSTANT to not yell at me or say I'm evil or call me stupid or gay, or a pedophile, or throw something at me, because I have a complex hard to understand story.

Apparently so does god.

Apparently, so do many.

and yet no one speaks because that is how hard it is to explain,

you'd rather be in a cage your whole life than to say "Hey, I'm dirty. I wish I wasn't"

Because you would rather walk around in the modern victorian era and just wear cologne or perfume to hide how much you fucking stink.

I might be dirty. At least I don't stink.

apparently if I say god uses my body when I already said this concept as no messiah or prophet then I am even if I say universe, I am stupid, If I saw grass or nature, I am unlearned or pagan and for some reason no one understands pagan like no one understand that a devil can be a good thing. I say big bang and it's like boom. Falls to nothing. If I saw origin and that it's all connected can you hear me for a second? Can you think for a minute about satan not being evil or do you just read the perspective which he seems evil?

Don't say I want to win, I just want everyone to lose. Why? Because I want the best for people.

I'm always going to love phiotes. (Philotes)

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I would want out of all my eons and eternities and to what exists in theory or reality to be acknowledged as something I have processed and known because evil or good, what do you think about yourself?

and...

why are you yelling at me when you should be yelling at yourself?

It may be hard to understand why, but I know I am not the one you are yelling at.

Even if you specificized that I was the one you were yelling at.

Will that girl of 50 as geir if god (no disrisp) that would see me as none of that because I can be trusted–even though I can't fully trust because I can trust in some extents but eternity is suffering.

Because I don't want to forget what I don't want to become or what I researched to know now to help others overcome.

Man wrote that. Man wrote all of what you all seek to interpret and do not check the word written in your hearts.

When you see me do you smile or fake it? I can hear the frequency or your false and truth.